Our Hospital Stay

I wanted to let everyone know what a great experience we had at the hospital.  Koreans and Americans have different ways of doing things and I was not sure what to expect having a baby in Korea.  I had never planned to be here for this.

After Malachi was born they wheeled my bed back into the labor and delivery room.  I had to stay there for four hours so they could watch me.  It was there that Brian gave me a diamond and silver bracelet for being a mommy.  It really touched my heart.  I did not expect anything.

Before we came to the hospital we had asked for a private room.  One of the main reasons for this is that I wanted to breastfeed and wanted privacy.  Also, being foreigners, people stare at us.  I could not imagine being in a room with five other women and their families.  Malachi drew enough attention being non-Korean.  We did not need any extra attention. 

Anyway, I was able to get one of the two private rooms.  That is where I walked to after I was allowed to leave the labor area.  The room was so hot!!  It was 34 degrees C or 93 degrees F!!  Koreans believe you should stay warm after having a baby.  They do not shower or bathe for 21 days and do not go anywhere for 30 days!!  There was no shower in my area and on the third day Brian asked if I could go home and take a shower and then come back.  People can leave the hospital during the day in Korea if the doctor says it is okay.  They have to return at night. 

They told me I had to stay there but one of the head nurses allowed me to use the nurse's shower.  When I walked back some woman saw me and asked the nurse why my hair was wet.  This was very strange to them.  One of my gifts was a winter scarf!!  I was supposed to wear it inside.  I had my window open part of the time!!  They really did not know what to think of me!!

Malachi has super burps!!  His first burp in the nursery was a projectile!!  Also, he did not cry so they were worried about him.  Brian made the joke that is was because the other babies were crying in Korean and Malachi only speaks English.  Finally, on the last day or two he began to express himself.

Whenever, it was time to feed Malachi they would let Brian bring him into the room.  I did not want Malachi to have a bottle because of breastfeeding.  Unfortunately my milk did not come in soon enough and they put him on formula.  We kept trying my milk but he still needs formula to supplement. 

At first he was not eating and they were worried about him.  Finally they changed him to Similac and he ate 50 milliliters!!  When Brian brought him in he said, "I have good news and I have bad news.  Which do you want first?"  I was anxious and said, "Just tell me!"  "The good news is, he ate 50 milliliters and the bad news is he likes the expensive stuff.  He has my taste!"  I was so relieved he was eating I cried.  In about a day he got back his energy.

Brian staid with me the first night, a lady from our church staid the second night and I was alone the third night.  After the third night they kept asking us if we were going to leave.  I wanted to go but Brian wanted to talk to the doctor.  Malachi had gotten a little jaundice and I did not want to leave him there.  We decided to stay one more night.  Brian stayed with me.  When they brought Malachi in he had his eyes covered.  I told him I liked his sunglasses.

My meals were a concern for me.  Korean women eat seaweed soup because it is supposed to have a lot of iron.  It is quite bitter and I do not like seaweed!!  When Brian explained they offered to make me a special meal.  I had Duk-kook or a kind of rice cake soup.  When I say rice cake I do not mean the dried Quaker Oats stuff.  They take rice and they grind it into a flour, then they make something like a pasta out of it.  They slice it and put it in soup.  It is pretty good.  They also gave me excellent side dishes like fish, mushrooms, etc.

Malachi was quite the novelty because he was the only white baby.  Actually, it is quite rare for Caucasian babies to be born in our area.  We may have had the third non-Korean or biracial babies ever in our province.  We would have to ask immigration. 

There was one thing that kind of bothered me and that was this lady that came to our room twice to show people Malachi.  She was a patient and I think she was very sincere but I really did not think it was appropriate for her to come to our room.  I did not know what was wrong with her or the two people that came with her, after all, it is a hospital and healthy people do not generally get admitted.  Anyway, the second time she came I was trying to breastfeed.  That really irritated me.  When we were getting ready to leave we were outside the nursery and she was there.  Brian was trying to take a picture and she was so close to Malachi it was hard to get the picture.  She just thought he was the cutest thing every (true) and she did not mean any harm but I still was not comfortable with it.

We went home on Tuesday and mommy was ready.  She was quite bored but she wanted to do what was best for Malachi.  Mommy and Malachi are staying in for the first month and most of the time thereafter.  Mommy wants Malachi to be strong before he is around a lot of people and then the weather is so cold. 

Now we are home and mommy is keeping a journal of "Malachi's World."  She wants to remember everything!!

Malachi really is a good baby and he never complains.  We have to figure out what the problem is.  He is very peaceful which is something mommy really wanted for him.  When she was pregnant she tried very hard to be at peace.  She believes God has blessed her efforts.

God bless and keep Malachi.

Here is mommy's prayer for Malachi for before he was born.

God, please protect Malachi from birth defects, congenital birth defects, genetic birth defects, and birthmarks.  Please give him a strong back, good, strong, straight teeth, good eyes and good ears.  Please give him straight fingers.  Please protect him from allergies and Asthma.  Please protect him from Cerebral Palsy and other complications that can arise from labor and delivery.  Please give mommy a good, safe, fast, easy, minimal pain labor and delivery.

God heard all of mommy's prayers.  Sometimes she would pray about things like Downs Syndrome and Colic or whatever came to mind. God always takes care of Malachi.  Mommy also prayed for Malachi’s salvation.  Mommy continues to pray about some of the things on her list and always for his salvation.  Mommy believes God has big plans for Malachi's life and she knows that she and daddy have a big responsibility. 

Who does he look like?

As we all know, whenever there is a new baby everyone tries to decided who he or she looks like.  This is what we think so far.  He has mommy's big eyes but so far they are blue like daddies.  He has mommy's ears and daddy's nose.  He has mommy's lips and daddy's feet.  He has long legs like his mommy, mommy's long, white fingernails and he has his mommy's sigh.  Mommy has a "double sigh."  Whenever mommy or Malachi sigh it sounds like there is a little hiccup in the middle so it sounds like two quick sighs.  Also, if you look as his passport picture is appears that his skin is fairer than daddy's but we are not sure if it is light like mommy's.

Only time will tell. 

December 26

Labor and Delivery

On Wednesday, December 24, Brian and I went to Jesus Hospital for our weekly check up.  Mommy's amniotic fluid was getting higher every week and they were concerned.  Aunt Kim Royer checked www.4women.gov and found that up to 25 is safe.  My levels went from 19+, to 15, to 20, to 22.  The doctor felt it was time to induce but due to the Christmas holiday we decided to wait until December 26.  (We had gone on the Sunday before but mommy felt it was not right and daddy agreed.)

About 3:30a.m. Friday, December 26, mommy started to have back labor.  She had felt these pains in previous nights when she would first go to bed but did not think anything about it because there were usually only one or two or lasted only a few minutes.  The pains that came the night of December 26 never stopped.  They woke me up a couple of times and I questioned if it were false labor.  This time the pains never stopped until Malachi was born. 

We arrived at the hospital at about 10:30a.m. and mommy was prepped.  She had a lovely enema.  The standard procedure in Korea is to shave you for an episiotomy.  Mommy had asked that this not happen and the hospital honored her request.

Next, mommy and daddy went into the labor and delivery area.  Daddy had picked mommy a private area away from the other two women because he knows that mommy is modest.  At 1:30p.m. the doctor came and inserted half a pill next to mommy's cervix to soften them and cause them to dilate.  The doctor said it could take up to six hours for the pill to work and up to three pills, totaling 18 hours.  After the cervix dilate to three the water should break or would be broken by the doctor.  Mommy prayed hers would break on its own.  Now we had to wait.  Daddy had prepared lunch for him and mommy and then they left it sitting on the cabinet.  At about 2:15p.m. mommy suggested that daddy go home and get lunch.  Daddy left and mommy continued to sit and rock on a special chair that helps backache.  The doctor had said mommy's pains were just the position of the baby but now mommy knows it really was labor.  Mommy was sitting and rocking and her bottom started to feel a little strange so she got into bed.  In about 10 minutes mommy felt a strange gush from her body and called for the nurse.  She checked and in Korean, told mommy her water had broken.  Mommy got her cellular phone and called daddy to come back.  He was about half way home.

When daddy got to the hospital he told mommy, "Your right about your family."  All along I had told daddy that the women in our family are good at having babies. 

Daddy set with mommy and every time she would have a pain he would hold her hand.  Mommy did not want anyone to touch her.  The only one she wanted to touch her was daddy and then she just wanted him to hold her hand during the pain.  If daddy were talking to the nurse or doctor she would squeeze daddy's hand so he would know she needed his help. 

Daddy was wonderful for mommy.  He explained everything to her.  Mommy was feeling faint during the contractions so they put her on oxygen.  Daddy explained to mommy that that was standard so mommy did not worry.  The nurse told daddy that mommy was feeling faint because of a lack of oxygen and that meant Malachi was not getting enough oxygen either.  Daddy also told mommy that she needed to relax because her stress was stressing Malachi.  Daddy would keep mommy focused and guided her breathing.  We did not have Lamaze classes but daddy listened to the nurses and followed their guidance and passed the information onto mommy.

Something daddy did not tell mommy was that the hospital did not prepare for surgery.  What I mean is that mommy and daddy are both O- (Rh-) and there was no O- blood available.  We live in a city of 650,000 and our hospital called every hospital in the city and no one had any O- blood.  Our hospital asked daddy what he wanted to do and he said, "If there is surgery use my blood."  This was the only weakness we had in our situation.

Mommy's greatest pain came from having a weak back and not labor.  Mommy's back was hurting so bad that she asked for some pain relief.  She had wanted all natural and if it had not been for her existing back condition she feels she would have made it.  The pain relief was not approved or administered until 6:00p.m., because they did not want it to wear off before the end of labor and delivery.  Mommy's back was hurting so bad!!

Finally mommy dilated to about nine centimeters and it was time to start pushing.  Mommy was not very good at pushing.  It took about three tries each contraction before mommy would stop pushing with her face and upper torso.  Pushing is like having a bowel movement and mommy had to remind herself over and over again.  She would say to herself, "Girl, dooky like you have never dookied before."  Dooky is not a real work but one Aunt Teri made up for a bowel movement.

Daddy was busy helping mommy.  He kept her focused!!  Also, Malachi had not dropped very far so he was still high in mommy.  The nurse showed daddy how to lay his forearm across mommy and behind Malachi.  When mommy would push, daddy would try to push Malachi down toward the opening.  Mommy remembers one significant move and she is sure there were more.  Thank God daddy was there to push.  When the nurse pushed mommy could not breathe even with the oxygen.

The final step was to go to the delivery room.  They wheeled mommy in her labor bed and she had to be transferred to the delivery bed.  Mommy felt like she could not do it but somehow God gave her the strength and with the help of the nursing staff, daddy and the doctor she made it. 

After mommy was on the delivery table she had two or three sets of pushes.  The doctor had daddy put his left arm under mommy's neck and help her set up during pushes and at the same time he continued to help push Malachi toward the opening.  Mommy was concerned about daddy's back and it was hard for him.  He was so intent on mommy that he did not see Malachi come out.  On mommy's last set of pushes (five) the doctor was telling daddy something in Korean but mommy could not wait for the translation she had to push and she told daddy, "I am pushing."  Daddy told mommy the translation was, "After his head comes out do not push because you will tear."  Mommy made her push and out came his head.  Daddy told mommy, "Don't push!!"  Mommy still wanted to push and it was a real effort not to push.  Then in a gush, Malachi came out!!  Daddy missed it because he was helping mommy and she said, "He's out!!"  Mommy did not see much.  The pediatrician was right there and they took Malachi and cleaned him up.

Later mommy asked about Malachi's APGAR scores.  He got a nine out of 10 in the first minute and 10 out of 10 at the five-minute check.  I think he will be an over achiever!!

A few minutes later they gave Malachi to mommy and she felt scared when she saw his searching eyes!!  She wanted the nurse to take him because she felt unsure and weak.

We have his picture in that moment and even though you may not be able to see it he has that look.

December 24

Today we went for our weekly visit and mommy's amniotic fluid is at a record high.  The doctor wanted to induce today but daddy pointed out that tomorrow is Christmas so we will go on Friday, December 26.

December 21

Because mommy's fluid level is quite high the doctor suggested inducing mommy if it gets higher.  Mommy and daddy talked and agreed that this would be the day.  Then we could be home for Christmas. 

When we got to the maternity ward and were waiting to check in, mommy felt it was not the right time.  She told daddy and he agreed we should go home.  We want God's perfect timing!!

December 17

First lets talk about last night.  Around 8:00p.m. we were sitting in the mommy chair a.k.a. our glider.  I felt something and knew Malachi had moved down!!  I felt the pain in my upper back ease and I had a burst of energy.

Sure enough, today, the doctor told us that Malachi had moved down some but he needs to move more.  She also said our amniotic fluid is at 19+.  15 is the high end of safe.  What does this mean?  It means that it gives Malachi too much room to move around and he could get tangled in his umbilical cord.  The doctor mentioned inducing labor next week if the fluid level does not go down.  Our next visit is December 24.

Malachi's weight today was 3460 grams or 7.628 pounds or 122 ounces.  That is just shy 7.5 pounds!!

We will keep you updated on whether or not Malachi will be coming early!!

Photos!!   We took some profile shots of mommy with our digital camera.  Now mommy needs to figure out how to download them.  These days, bending over is not easy so I have not been able to connect the camera to the computer.  I will get to it soon I hope.  Anyway, about our doctors visits...

I am behind!!  Lets start with our November 11, doctors visit.

There really is not much to report for this visit.  It is the first time we did not have a sonogram.  We were only there a short while and they just checked his heartbeat.  He is normal.  That is mommy's favorite word to hear.

Next, was our December 3, visit.

Mommy was poked and pushed every way!!  She gave blood and urine, her cervix were checked and she had a sonogram that left her with a backache!!

Malachi weighed in at 2881 grams or about 3 pounds and five ounces.  There is some concern because our amniotic fluid level is high.  We will pray about that.  The concern is that if there is too much fluid he could move around and get tangled in his umbilical cord.  That could be a problem.

We go to the doctor once a week now.  Our last visit was Wednesday, December 10.

All of our test came back normal.  Still mommy's favorite word to hear!  We had a sonogram and our amniotic fluid is on the high end of okay.  Thank you, Jesus, you always help us.  Mommy says this a lot because anytime we have a possible problem we pray and God takes care of us.  Mommy thinks baby knows this.

We also had a fetal monitor and he is fine, normal as I like to say.

Malachi's favorite thing to do in the evening is to stretch and do push-ups.  He pushes really hard and his little touche (or bum as we sometimes borrow from our U.K. friends), rises up, up, and up until he is right under mommies right breast.  It looks like a big melon!!  Then he slowly moves down and up and down...several times in the evening.  He also likes to push is feet against mommies side so again, it feels like a melon.  

Mommy has many nicknames for Malachi's activities.  I call him "Kicky Boy," "Punchy Boy," and I am tempted to call him "Melon Boy." 

I know people say that near the end you get impatient but I have not been so far.  I want him to take his time and come out when he is ready.  God has perfect timing and I believe that is worth waiting for.

Our nursery is basically finished.  Aunt Teri sent us an infant car seat.  I have not seen an infant seat hear and usually parents hold their newborns in the car.  I cannot imagine doing that now but that is how it was in the U.S. until about 15-20 years ago.

Mommy stopped working last week and will not go back.  She and Malachi will be together most of the time.  Daddy is still to busy but he does not want to be.  Things should slow down soon. 

Our next doctor's visit is on Wednesday, December 17.  Daddy thinks Malachi will come early.  We are prepared and we shall see.

Our last doctor's visit was October 22!!  Mommy went to Seoul for a teacher's conference and over did it!!  She spent Tuesday, October 21, in bed.  When we went to the doctor on Wednesday they did some extra checking because mommy's side felt like she had a pulled muscle.  We were on a fetal heart monitor and daddy made mommy laugh so much that they had to turn the sound down.  Daddy says baby passed the test but mommy failed!

Our new sonogram is now on Malachi's page.  You can see his little chubby cheeks!!  He weighs 1628 grams or about 3.5 pounds.  Mommy's belly is getting bigger but she is being careful to gain only the right amount of weight.

Malachi kicks and moves so much that he woke mommy up the other night.  He is a busy little boy.  He has moved into the birthing position (head down) and his little leg seems to be okay.  Last time it was straight and so we were watching him.  Mommy prays for Malachi everyday and we know that God takes care of him.  Mommy also sings "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jesus Loves the Little Children" to Malachi every night before we go to sleep.

The second picture is of his femur.  The doctor told us they check the size of the head, femur and foot to determine growth and due date.  We see so many exciting things at our sonogram!!  We wish you could see them as well.

Daddy read in his book that if he pokes Malachi through mommy's belly that Malachi will poke back.  Now daddy pokes mommy's belly!!  Malachi does react sometimes.

Our next doctor's visit is November 12.  As of October 25 we only have 67 days until our due date!!

September 26, Doctors visit!! This is a 3-D picture of Malachi but it is hard to see because he is still too little! He now weighs one kilogram or 2.2 pounds. His development is normal so far. One thing the doctor noticed was that his one leg is straight and not in the fetal position. She said it does not appear to be a problem and may just be his current position. He is still in the breech position but there is plenty of time for that to change. Mommy and daddy are praying for his leg, just in case.

The regular black and white images showed his rib cage and his heart beating!! Mommy and daddy smiled and laughed at his movements as we watched in wonder. He is very busy!! Allison went with us to see the sonogram and experience our typical visit. She is like extended family to us and we are thankful that God has given us our wonderful friend.

Our next doctor's visit is October 24. Look for an update the day after that.

Malachi and I have been having some exciting moments lately and we want to share them with our family and friends.

First of all, I felt Malachi for the first time this summer. It was just a tickle at first but then on Friday, August 29, while I was drifting off to sleep I felt what seemed like a punch from inside. It woke me enough for me to realize it was Malachi!! I felt the next "punch" on Sunday and daily since. He is quite an active little fellow. His busiest day was August 27! He did not stop all day!! We cannot wait until daddy can feel it too!!

The two weeks before school started daddy and mommy cleaned out the room that will be Malachi's. Also, Mommy and Jeannie went shopping. Just when we were about to give up, God helped us find a glider. Gliders in the U.S. are a minimum of 200.00 dollars but we got ours for about 140.00 dollars. We had visited so many stores. We know that God kept this glider for us!!

Last Sunday, August 31, Allison and mommy went shopping. Mommy and Allison picked out four Hot Wheels to decorate Malachi's dresser. A few days later mommy bought a little stuffed "Angel Bunny" that has blue ears and wings. Mommy loves to shop for Malachi.

As new things happen, we will be sure to let you know!!

Love,

Brian, Tammy and Malachi Elias